07785 714 254
ANTHONY RYB COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY
Adv. Dip. CP, MNCPS (Snr Acc), AMBICA, MIARTT
Fertility, Grief & Trauma therapy - supporting you through change and transition
WHY A BALL OF WOOL?
I've selected a ball of wool as my logo because sometimes we might feel like we want to curl up into a ball and hide away from prying eyes. Sometimes there may be a part of us that feels we are being pulled or tugged in a direction that doesn't feel comfortable and we could begin to unravel. The different colours symbolise our changing moods.
When the above happens, it can be comforting to know someone is available to help support us. Someone who will listen without judging, offer their views with no hidden agenda and most importantly has the ability to allow you to be yourself no matter if that self wishes to cry, laugh, be angry or sad, sit in silence or rant.
We all have times in our life when things become overly stressful and often we manage and cope, though on occasion there can be too many things weighing down on us, our coping strategies cease to work and this is when life becomes heavy and everything starts to race out of control. The smallest thing turns into a massive issue and we may even think we are going mad! It can feel a frightening and lonely with no way out of the tailspin.
Choosing a therapist that you feel comfortable with and who has the expertise to help with your concerns is an important decision.
ABOUT ME
I am a Senior Accredited member of the National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society and also an Accredited member of the British Infertility Counselling Association and have been working within the counselling profession for more than 20 years as an Integrative therapist. This means I use elements from different schools of Psychotherapy to best support the character and personality of whoever I am working with. I divide my time between the voluntary sector and private practice and some of the venues where I have worked include GP surgeries, Clinics, Hospices, Church halls, Primary & Secondary Schools, Offices and people’s homes. I have experience working with adults, teenagers and children from a diverse range of cultural backgrounds in both 1:1 and group settings.
MY AREAS OF WORK
IN/FERTILITY, DONORS, PREGNANCY DIFFICULTY/LOSS & CHILDLESSNESS
I am an experienced fertility counsellor and trained with BICA (British Infertility Counselling Association) and help coordinate regional meet-ups for them enabling fertility counsellors to come together to share ideas and support each other. I give talks, mentor, write for a number of publications and in addition to my private practice I provide independent and impartial counselling support to various clinics, consultants and networks, including The Donor Conception Network, Fertility Network UK and have an advisory role with The Fertility Alliance
I support patients who may be considering or using any fertility clinic or service and have worked /still work directly within the counselling departments at Acorn Fertility, The Evewell, Fertility for all, Harley Street Fertility, Andrology Solutions, London Women's Clinic , Bridge Clinic, Fertility Plus, CRGH, Avenues Life, The London Sperm Bank and The London Egg Bank. I offer private counselling to explore the implications and to support you through all stages of your journey, which can be an exhausting and confusing time.
If you are male, female, or non binary, single or in a relationship and have received a shocking diagnosis and/or considering Fertility treatment of any kind in the UK or overseas (inc IVF, IUI, egg freezing, using donor sperm/eggs or a surrogate) or thinking of becoming an egg or sperm donor or surrogate yourself please be in touch.
Donors, if you have been asked to be a known donor or have already donated outside of a clinic setting, be in touch if you feel it would be helpful to discuss the implications around this. Also if something has now come up for you after some time has passed and is weighing on you.
We can discuss the questions you have and also legal elements around anonymity including if/when and how to tell, if this is relevant to you.
I am very aware that men and women cope differently with many things in life and Assisted Conception can sometimes create differences of opinion at various times. If you have thoughts going round and round in your head as a result of the fertility treatment being proposed or coming up and require an outlet, please be in touch.
The impact of having a low/no sperm diagnosis, not being able to fall pregnant, pregnancy loss and miscarriage (a single time or multiple) and being childless not through choice can be isolating and reverberate through all aspects of your life. It can also bring up many previous losses, traumas and create feelings of shame, guilt or jealousy as well as many others (anger/sadness/grief). It can at times also appear to come out of nowhere and impact many relationships in different ways! Please be in touch and we can sensitively explore what the situation you currently find your self in means to you and the effect it is having on your life. We will work together to try and reconcile, develop strategies and find helpful ways for you to manage this impact to your life, both for men and women, singles or couples and also for parents who may be suffering watching their loved ones struggle through infertility.
Male In/Fertility
A message to men struggling with your own diagnosis including male infertility or diagnosis of any kind/for any reason. If you are finding it difficult to know how best to support yourself or your partner, I work with many men trying to make sense of the initial and ongoing impact and what this might mean for them/their partners (along with ramifications it may have on other relationships/friendships/family/work). Having an outlet can be really helpful to get some practical support and to safety offload any fears, worries, stresses that may be building up or emerging.
Pregnancy and Baby Loss
The loss of any pregnancy can be cruel and upsetting and result in lingering thoughts, worries or trauma. If you are carrying the pain, sadness, grief, anger, guilt or any other emotion connected to a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, still birth or termination you’ve had to make, please be in touch. You may have required a surgical procedure afterwards which can lead to additional loss and can be really difficult to process. Some women after a pregnancy or specific pregnancy loss may no longer be able to or feel comfortable trying to conceive naturally. Fertility clinics and consultants may offer solutions and counselling can be helpful to manage next steps especially around any fear, loss, trauma or isolation aroused by what's happened. Often the thought of returning to a medical practice or a future scan can be triggering and provoke frightening memories. In addition if you have experienced this with a partner, they too may be grieving in their own way and it can sometimes causes issues that creep into the relationship.
If you are carrying traumatic memories and worried about future scans or other elements, please reach out as I have supported many women and helped to alleviate these worries.
BEREAVEMENT / GRIEF AND LOSS
I work with clients through many different situations and specialise in grief and loss, which encompasses bereavement and the loss of someone who may have been meaningful in your life, miscarriage/pregnancy and baby loss, separation, divorce, loss of job or career, loss of hope, motivation and confidence, serious illness, loss of health or limbs, and infertility/childlessness.
When grief hits, it can feel like your world has come to a standstill and no one understands. You may feel like a burden and not want to be around people and when around others you possibly wear a mask to disguise your true feelings. Some people I speak with also find it difficult to grieve what's not materialised (i.e pregnancy loss), thinking it's not appropriate. It is and it's powerful.
Themes that tend to emerge through grief work include change and transition, identity, anger/stress and anxiety, guilt, self esteem and worth, confidence, relationship difficulties, depression and seeking/discovering ways in which to live within a changed future and new beginning.
TRAUMA & PTSD
I am trained in the REWIND Technique and studied this under the guidance of the founder at the International Association for Rewind Trauma Therapy. The technique delivers very swift results in eradicating nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety and panic which are involuntarily recalled due to triggers after a traumatic event such as a pregnancy or baby loss, an accident, attack, near death experience, abuse, witnessing of a tragedy, natural disaster, bereavement and other events that may have left a lasting effect that you cannot shake off or escape.
This is different to counselling as it is a non disclosure method of therapy which means you do not need to verbalise or speak about the event if you don’t want to or are legally not allowed to (eg, military personnel). This also minimises the risk of being re-traumatised.
I have had great success helping people overcome their trauma/s very swiftly, with significant change often occurring after the first session. If you are suffering from the effects of a traumatic episode and wish to move beyond it, please be in touch to discuss how I may be able to help.
My ultimate focus in all work is to help support you in finding peace, meaning and a new perspective to difficult events that may be occurring in your life.
SCHEDULE A SESSION
How:
I am based in the United Kingdom (London) and work via Video and Phone, this way I can support anyone, regardless of geographic location. If you feel I can help you, please be in touch if you are based anywhere in the UK or overseas.
I am aware of the courage it can take to ask for help and how difficult it can be to reach out for support, as such if I feel I am not the right person to support you I will let you know and endeavour to help guide you to the correct person or organisation that will be able to assist.
Fees and Term:
We can meet for a Single session or more long term (weekly, bi weekly, monthly). We would agree together an appropriate amount of sessions during our initial consultation. This is flexible and can be reviewed regularly together.
Fertility / Donor Counselling - £96 for an initial consultation session with an individual (1:1) and £108 for couples. This reduces to £84 (1:1) / £96 (couples) for follow up sessions. We will discuss a diagnosis you have received relating to yours or (if applicable) your partners fertility and the implications this might have for you, or if embarking on any fertility treatment inc Egg Freezing, being a Sperm or Egg donor (known or to a Donor Bank), using donor sperm/eggs or a Surrogate and understanding the legislation and questions about this.
Also included with the above is any letter that may need to be sent to your clinic.
Grief counselling £96 for an initial consultation session and £84 for weekly/follow up sessions. The initial consultations will provide us with an opportunity to meet/speak, allowing me to learn what is on your mind and for you to discover if my style is right for you. If compatible we would agree a contract that includes how many sessions and what time to meet, generally weekly or every other week for one hour at the same time & day each week.
Trauma /PTSD Work (Rewind Technique) - £350 (inc up to 3 sessions)
This exercise offers a very quick way to help alleviate any Emotional Trauma you may be carrying (recent or from many years ago) and would include an initial call/conversation relating to the issue, followed by me sending a questionnaire for you to carry out and send back to me. We'd then arrange a time to carry out the REWIND exercise and I would follow up again a few weeks later to check how your trauma injury has recovered since carrying out the exercise. This has proven to help and be very effective for many different traumatic experiences including baby loss.
Counselling Concessions are available for individuals on low income, benefits and students.
Private Medical insurance - I am registered with the following private health insurance companies and if you have a policy with them and the appropriate cover in place you may be able to claim back some or all of the costs of our counselling sessions (please check first with your policy/provider): Aviva Health, Cigna, Vitality and WPA.
Contact me:
For more information about the talking therapy I provide and to discuss an issue in confidence please use the contact form at the bottom of this page or call me directly on 07785 714 254 (please leave a message if you get my voicemail as I may be in session at the time of your call. I will call you back). My direct email is anthony@arybcounselling.co.uk
Previous and on-going projects I have run, worked with and supported include Acorn Fertility, The London Women's Clinic, Bridge Clinic, London sperm Bank, London Egg Bank, The Evewell Clinic, Harley Street Fertility Clinic, The Bridge, Fertility Plus, CRGH, Andrology Solutions, Concept Fertility, X & Y Fertility, BPAS, Avenues.Life, Fertifa, HIM Fertility, TestHIM, Fertility Fest, NHS Lothian, The Fertility Show, Fertility Network UK, DC Network, The Fertility Alliance, MIND / IAPT, Sour/Sweet, North London Hospice, Marie Curie, Think Family, Barnet Bereavement Service, GroOops and the Teenage Pregnancy Strategy.
CONTACT FORM:
"The smallest change can make the BIGGEST difference."