• Anthony Ryb

Pain and Gain

Whilst supporting my fertility clients, those who have been experiencing for many months and often years difficulties conceiving and now see their treatment put on hold, which creates further delays and levels of uncertainty to their hopes of becoming a parent….I hear a lot from them in frustration, anger and sadness about the insensitivity of parents who are complaining about how difficult it is to ‘be stuck indoors with their children’.

Likewise, whilst supporting my bereavement clients and especially those who have experienced very complicated grief and loss of any kind. From their perspective they have been trapped, watching the world and everyone on it go on without them – leaving them stuck. From their perspective, I hear comments of empathy albeit also tinged with the reality that ‘now people may have some idea of what it feels like for their own world to shut down’.

The trauma victims I work with know full well how it feels to be stopped in their tracks by flashbacks, ruminations and recurring thoughts that chip away constantly and frightening. Sadly they can appreciate so clearly what so many care workers will be impacted by in the coming months, along with others in the community who have lost loved ones or very nearly lost their own lives.

Where is the hope in all this you may ask? I guess the hope for me and from my experience is that over the past 20 years I have supported many people of all ages impacted by loss, trauma and the unknown and by and large the sun does eventually shine, smiles do reappear, motivation does return, guilt can subside, blame can be put to rest, pain can be eased, quality sleep does return and life does awaken with a (brighter) future worth living for.