Endings and Pinnacles...

I experience hundreds of endings every year and likewise, 100’s of beginnings too. This can be the beginning/ending of a movie I’m watching, book/article I’m writing or reading, meal I’m cooking/eating, walk I’m taking, a meeting, holiday, illness…you get the picture.

Specifically in relation to my work, I may have one single counselling session with someone, meet for a few sessions, a number of months or for many years. The significance of the counselling ending is often relative to the length of time it’s been going on, the relationship that’s been developed, the overall experience and the outcome too.

When a counselling relationship has been developing over a significant amount of time there can be a lot of focus and even pressure on the ending and to get it right (whatever that means). I was giving this some thought recently and came to the conclusion that whilst a healthy ending is something we may want, one way to approach it is to appreciate two factors:

1/ each session / time we meet could at any time become the final session. We never have any idea what’s around the corner or might happen and consequently make every session count as best it can.

2/ rather than placing so much focus and pressure on the final goodbye, it can be helpful to view the work/relationship as a whole. There was certainly a starting point, a middle and now an end – this is a fact, however there were likely many new starting points, middle parts and endings during the entirety. Each one shifting gently into the next.

Abrupt endings, final farewells and big changes may always provoke more intense feelings and rightly so, though I’m reminded of completing degrees and other times where the gratitude of the ending and sense of wonder for the next chapter presented like a rainbow on a dark rainy day. Some endings deliver hope, cheer and a smile.